We sometimes let our ego lead our lives until it somehow destroys it. There’s a big difference between confidence and ego. Confidence is healthy, ego is destructive.
What is the ego?
It is a self-generated identity consisting of every belief we believe, about who and what we are. This includes our personality, our talents and our likes and dislikes. The ego is what keeps us locked away in our minds in an endless cycle of chatter, separated from the present moment. It is the identity created and reinforced by the story we tell ourselves. Our stories are, however, just those stories. They do not makeup who we are.
When we live by these emotions, the brain naturally does something very unique, it makes us function as materialists, we feel separate from possibility because when we are in that heightened state, our senses are telling us the way reality is, so we become focussed on body, environment and time. You always tend to select on the possibilities of the future based on the memories of the past.
All of your attention goes to the outer world and you start focussing on your past memories and your past experiences kick in, and you get stuck, unable to achieve your dream life. When this happens your ego gets overly endorsed and now you become overly selfish. You become self-centred, self –important, self-pity.
When this happens you become limited and frustrated you tend to start living in a constant state of survival, and it is not the time to create, open your heart. At this state, you are unable to change and achieve the life you desire.
Ego and love are the branches of the same tree. The difference is, Love always wants to say Sorry, and Ego always wants to hear sorry.
While the ego is an aspect of the human condition, it is not the true essence of who we are. When we operate from ego we are generally obsessed with right and wrong, blame and shame. We are not acting from a loving place, but a judgmental place. We are not acting from a place of “how can I serve or how can I give”, rather, “what do I get” and “how do I look?”
Here are 3 tips in managing your ego
1. Stop taking things personally. The ego loves to get offended. It loves to get wounded and it thrives on pain and conflict. When we chose to get offended over things we are actively choosing to allow the ego to take control of our lives and create pain. In order to disassociate from this and make a different change, we must recognise that love is our natural state. Humans actually want to connect and feel joy, not misery. If someone does or say something that makes you feel any negative emotion, you have two choices. You can react and engage in conflict, or you can recognise that the trigger within you, is an opportunity for your own growth. You can choose to recognise that anything negative said or done by another is likely a projection of their own ego. Don’t waste your energy on ego battles save it for love and service.
2. Forgive. Ego prevents you from moving forward and keeps you away from love. It’s like a weed in this way. When you forgive you will allow your heart to open. You separate from the need to be “right” and instead choose love. This is functioning from your true self. Forgive others and forgive yourself too.
3. Let go and observe. Let go of trying to be right, trying to be seen, trying to win and trying to be heard, instead, observe. The ego wants to prove itself and jump up and down to gain validation. Remember our higher self does not need validation. By becoming aware of the ego, you open up space to be seen and heard without expectation; you then see things as they are. You see people as they are rather than through a projected sense of lack. This will give you an opportunity to sit back and observe as to who or who is not functioning from a place where they can offer themselves up emotionally to give Love, acceptance, adoration to you. This means we let go of controlling people.
This is pure freedom. Eckhart Tolle said:
“The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly no longer the ego but just an old, conditioned mind pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist”. When the ego becomes the dominant process of your mind, you fall out of alignment with your true self. With practice, you can learn to manage your ego better and create a life that feels more peaceful, loving and authentic.
As Gandhi said: “When the ego dies, the soul awakens”. Let your ego die a little more each day so your freedom and joy can grow and your peace can come forward.
Training the mind and body to be in the present moment, and not run to the past, and having the free will and having a mind greater than the body is the work to change and shift yourself from egoistic self.
Bless your life by letting go of your ego.
