Do you ever feel the true you is hidden, even from yourself?
For many people, it is difficult to consciously live life as their true selves. Many put up a mask or use defenses that allow them to cope with daily life. They are living life behind a mask. Unaware of the repressed feelings, they struggle through. Often, there is a history of childhood trauma, rife with judgment, criticism, and loneliness. The mask is one of these coping mechanisms. The inability to cope with and without the mask eventually leads to a process of personality change.
For almost two decades, I hid behind masks. I started putting on masks as a way to fit in. My whole life I felt like I needed to achieve certain things to fit in, to be accepted, to be welcomed as a part of the community – whether it be in school, at home, with classmates, to the business world. I always felt like I needed to fit in. And by doing so I needed to prove myself to the people to be accepted. And so I was very driven to achieve, and it worked. That drive allowed me to get certain results, but every time I achieved those results I never felt happy inside, I never felt fulfilled.
I wore several masks. At work, I am professional– in a good mood, upbeat and supportive. At home, I try to project a positive attitude, and for the rest of the world, I was a strong single woman entrepreneur (a superwoman). I rarely let my friends and family know when I am depressed, sad, and worried about my future. When you have worn a mask for so many years, you tend to forget to take it off, and it eventually becomes your own skin.
Having to always put a mask on in order to receive that love, or attention, or acceptance, was really exhausting. It was so exhausting and impossible to keep up. It was the cause of my burnout and breakdown. I felt detached and disconnected from myself.
It is then, I decided to take off my masks. The only way to get real and be healed is by reclaiming your buried emotions, accepting yourself as who you are, and loving that person inside out.
Remember, the roles we frequently present to the world most of the time have been generated as a survival strategy to escape from, or compensate for the humiliations, hurts, and unfulfilled needs of our past.
So, why does it feel so difficult to be ourselves at times? Well, it’s because we crave acceptance. We were born into this world to be loved, and in that loving, we crave acceptance from everyone and everything, and that makes us become inauthentic.
Which masks do you wear? How are they holding you back? The first step is identifying the masks that affect your life. The next step is removing them. Third never ignore your feelings, and lastly, pay attention to your intuition and be yourself. When you can be yourself, and look in that mirror and smile at that person staring back, and know that you have loved in deep admiration for that authentic you, it completely transforms your life.
Life is already challenging enough to be who you are, don’t try to add any elements that don’t support you.
What would change in your life, if you removed your mask?
